Of What Just Might Be the Whole Damn Thing

One day as I was sitting in the waiting room of Rachel’s dentist in faraway Olympia, and while she was receiving treatment for a troublesome tooth and the clock was spinning extra slowly, I tapped cards on my ipad screen, tap, tap, maneuvering the shapes and numbers toward yet another win, and there! I win again! and the cards started dancing around on the screen on the way to becoming another game, and while I watched the new game taking shape that day with my finger poised motionless in the air waiting for the first tap,


I felt something happening in my mind that I couldn’t see but which I knew was there because it felt like something, specifically like a little slit slowly and quietly becoming more until my expectation for the next game on my ipad screen had turned into anticipation of how big that slit might become and what might possibly emerge out of it when I felt my whole mind put a finger to itself and whisper, “Shhh! It’s a secret!”


Which didn’t help, of course, because the whole damn world is a secret, and, well, my whole mind is made of secret places and spaces, forgotten things, dangerous things, waiting to burst out anytime and, never mind, and why should this little secret thing announcing itself in my mind be anything special except that it was something special because it felt like a big deal, that it was THE secret, the one that nobody knows about except by special invitation, and it was on its way,


and which under the normal circumstances of sitting in a dentist’s office, which couldn’t be any more normal a thing than anything else one might experience, like watching a car drive by, but here it was, something special and unknown growing larger and the ipad game long gone into oblivion as anticipation turned into reality and something began to emerge from that unknown place separated from me only by this tiny slit getting larger and then a slight bulge around its edges ginning up the anticipation,


and there the something was, which first revealed itself as a flash of yellow, just that, before entering more fully into my mind as a particular thing that was so normal I might have thought that the whole thing a joke except that it was happening right now in this most peculiar way, and I was suddenly smiling as the mysterious thing became a golden flower, right there in the emptiness of my mind with a secret to impart in the office of Rachel’s dentist, in Olympia, Washington, planet Earth, 93 million miles from the sun, in the Virgo band of the Milky Way, in the Virgo supercluster of what just might be the whole damn thing.