Who Am I Without God?

Who Am I Without God? Podcast Episode 002

Where ever do I look, when the infinite self which I have suddenly become ponders the loneliness, even though days and weeks and years have passed since I knew my personal life was over. Through the books, the mantras, the prayers, the grand words and searing beauty of images and stories and rhythms that are all about that and where to find it, a fierce longing endures. Infinite being that I am, I still need that act of longing, even if it is only a gesture, a nod of the head, a movement in the eye from that being that knows, that personhood that peers out of the infinite as someone that is not the impersonal, cold absolute. There cannot be unbounded life without it! I cannot crawl out of the ocean onto land without that something that will make infinity plausible as a landscape for living. Where to go without that? Who to be?

Humanity's Long Goodbye Podcast 001

Episode 001 Humanity's Long Goodbye

You can't help but want to bow down when you look up from the normal drudgery of human existence and exclaim, "I want to know!" What to do when the passion grabs you, when the shakti roars through the mind's confusions and fears and opens up to grand thoroughfares of cosmic beings on the same journey exploring the infinite conditions of existence. And your humanity? Humanity has never been more valuable to itself when you look up from your mortal eyes and see with the eyes of the absolute spirit.

But humanity has a decision to make. Are we dealing with the unknowns of life by turning ourselves into biotic androids for our seeing; or are we waking up to grand drama of existence through the power of spirit to inquire into its reality as you? Perhaps they are not mutually exclusive now, but there will come a point when certain opportunities will be lost. At this moment, however, now is what we have. The infinity of now or the prolonged struggle in the world of mental machinations to push death off farther into the future? Who wants to know? What do you see?

Never Mind the Infinite Universe

What to say when contemplating one trillion galaxies in the universe, or for that matter, infinite after infinite numbers of atoms, and another infinitude of subatomic particles rushed into existence with an atom smasher? Easy to say that God created all this: just read the books and say the prayers; and easy to say that nobody created it when you’ve got mounds of equations digitalized on a screen laying out the unsanctified history of the entire universe and how smart you are. But never mind what the scientists say or what the priests say or what my mother and father used to say, or my best friend in high school ruminating after he swiped my girlfriend, or the local Baptist minister proclaiming by rote in front of the bored masses who pay him to say it, or my grandfather when he sat upon the judge’s bench in a small Virginia town and gaveled down justice to the powerless; but of all things this!: knees to ground, heart surrendered utterly unto perdition, mind crying out with joy and grief: “How could I have known?”, before rising and walking on with the only certitude that matters in all that infinite stuff. 

The Abject Nothing Left to Give

Audio Episode: Primer Four: When I Stand Alone

It isn’t that I and my beloved celebrated without guilt the raucous ride through all three Iron Man movies over three nights, leaving popcorn all over the floor, and bathing in the rapturously beautiful and expensive Bose sound for the TV; and it isn’t that I escaped unharmed a revulsion unto nausea generated by a “spiritual” movie turning God/Christ/the Holy Spirit into trite, insipid, cartoon characters in the name of inspiration, despite the guilt and shame that was the film’s undercurrent to deliver and which I wrestled with in darkness for the entire two hours before escaping with the help of a friend; nor was it for that moment I cannot quite account for, when I found myself reading as sadhana Sri Aurobindo’s Essays on the Bhagavad Gita, and finding my mind, the bugaboo of all enlightenment seekers, nurtured down to its finest roots—that I felt hopeless gratitude;

but it was in that moment a few days earlier than these events, sitting out front under the newly risen sun, contemplating the parched earth and the weeks of no rain, that the merest unformed gesture out of the infinite unveiled itself, a gesture so tender it was that mere exposure to the grossness of me could only have brought abject revulsion and yet did not, such that offering even the profoundest devotion and gratitude a mortal soul could muster would be like tossing down a sack of garbage; that I, standing up in total acceptance of the stench of my existence, despite a lifetime of devotion to the pursuit of God, endless acts of purification and surrender, the deepest inquiries of my scarcely lighted mind, tore out of the bottomless caverns of my being the abject declaration

that I, a beast in clothing of mud and pretense with nothing left to give, capable only of the crudest declarations, affirmed with my hand on a stack of Bibles and Gitas stretching down into the unredeemable nothing, that I exist! No, never, could anything be more real or true! Why else to live or die than to know this? Tear my heart from my breast and the light from my soul if ever I deny that one tender wisp of knowing turning to know me.

Dying the Deep Death with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

There were choices to be made back then. Live a reckless and dangerous life and die early in abject despair, or follow in the wake of a divine traveler of the spiritual seas and perhaps ascend in spiritual awareness to know what he knew, not only surviving mortality but taking it on as a divine order of being. I, John, looking up from the mud and mire and finding a place among the stars and continuing the search for absoluteness with sword ablaze and cape blowing in the cosmic wind.
Looking in his eyes that day on the poster tacked to the telephone pole, I asked him if he knew. If he knew that existence itself was an experiential fact and that no matter where you looked or felt or sent your inquiry about God, there was always only this. The image above this writing was the face I gazed into. A few days later, I followed his beckoning and discovered that meditation suited me well. It was a practice that kept me focused, kept me from forgetting that the outer life was just froth on a wave on the ocean of being, and even forty years later long after the practice has returned to its divine source like a fully ripened piece of fruit falling from a tree, he is, nevertheless, still there, and the thing we started those many years ago has been ongoing and vital within the depths of my being that had been stirred awake when I had first followed his beckoning and made that first dive into the infinite.
Now the story is different. Things have changed. His face is no longer as important as it once was. Nor is the story he told about what is real and what isn’t. Of how it all happens and what there is to find. Of what to do and where to go. Those questions have faded. They used to be guides but now they are hindrances. The stories and ceremonies have also passed, and the books have been retired.
Now there is just him, and it isn’t really him. He is just a wisp of a wave of the tenderest state of being, still beckoning as before, but now the consequences of following are ultimate. Do I trust him in this arena, where absolutes splash in your face like spring rains? His is the beckoning that won’t go away, and who am I to die falling with him into the infinite ocean of being?

When You Turn Around and Spirit is All That Is

Primer Two: Unwrapping the Veils

I can understand your hesitation in listening to this episode. You know it's real. Once you know that, what a marvelous decision either way! It doesn't matter. Spirit is always there and the decision never goes away. It just waits till a time of your choosing. The choice to turn is, however, truth be told, not really a choice. It is a deeply private inner knowing, a decision that is more in spirit than in you. Back in your world, in the swirl of life experiences, it waits behind the veil deep in the silence while you go about your important business, which is never complete, as you know; it just runs out of gas. Look at the man in the picture above. His world is on the table. This other thing, which has been going on for eternity, has now made itself known.

Beginning Again For the First Time

Primer One: First Things Again

Even though one can put together a story about what these broadcasts are about, no words will satisfy; no concept will last. When we enter the invisible room, the stories of life and death and the world cease. This is who we absolutely are. We exist as the one thing that is. Come in, take a deep breath, and feel the deep currents of mystery running through your life.

The Primer Episodes are a first of a series of topical sets designed to open passageways for spirit to enter its creation through us. To feel it is to know it. That's all that one has to consider when entering the invisible room.

Here are the titles of the four Primer Episodes, which will be posted on Fridays as usual. The were all recorded in one sitting and rise exponentially in vibration as we move through them.

  1. First Things
  2. Unwrapping the Veils
  3. The Invitation to Explore Spirit
  4. When I Stand Alone

Headphones recommended so that your interior spaces resonate more deeply.

No Place to Park in the Grand Drama of Existence

A few years ago, I took a self-development course to clear out some of the “dark matter” in my psyche. My efforts met with enormous success. At the end of the course, a piece of the infinite burst into my mind and landed like a grenade rolling through my astonished thoughts. For hours, I walked around the hall beating my head against the desire to explain what this was, fully aware that it couldn’t go on like this forever, wondering if that grenade was going to go off; nevertheless, I kept exclaiming internally, “This is it! I want it! I want it! How can I tell anybody what this is?” Pulling at my hair because, you know, infinity does not run out and there is no place to park and regroup. Fortunately, the grenade did not go off and I am relatively sane at this moment though I know infinity is in there just behind the shadows of my thinking. How do I explain this thing? Impossible to do as everybody knows; nevertheless, once more into the breach! 

One of the reasons, I believe, that many Star Wars fans were disappointed in the three prequals to the original trilogy was that the mystery of the Jedi and the force got lost in the outer landscape of the sprawling capital city, the aerial traffic, alien races, rogue generals and their wars, a senate the size of a small city, and Jedi sitting around in chairs making political and military decisions. Contrast those scenes with Luke Skywalker crash landing on a dark, swampy planet and coming across the wisest Jedi of them all. Was it just one of those things Luke arriving there? Surrounded by an impenetrable environment, Luke takes his first deliberate steps in opening to the force. 

Both movies created by the new owners of the Star Wars legacy have been about, in my view, restoring the mystery of the force and revealing that mystery at work. Witness the last scenes of The Force Awakens. And what follows here:

In Rogue One, the spiritual force of the story is carried by Chirrut Imwe, (pictured above) a blind Jedi out on his own whose life mantra is, “I am one with the force, and the force is with me.” His companion, Baze Malbus, is armed to the teeth and thinks that he is the one protecting his blind friend. At the end of the story, he realizes that the force has always been working through him, including bringing him and his friend to their deaths when their roles are complete. He has been the blind one. The other characters, including Jyn Urso and her father, who carry the emotional weight of the story and a major Star Wars theme of reconciliation of child and parent, know little about the force. Nevertheless, all who are on the mission sacrifice themselves to the intent within the force of extracting a piece of information from the mind of the dark side of the force and transmitting it to the forces of light. In Rogue One, the force is at work in everything, whether one is conscious of it or no. “I am one with the force, and the force is with me.” 

If you have pitched your tent on the landscape of light and dark with Jyn and Cassian as one of the good guys protesting the evils of the day, then the question to you is this: “Are you available to the force?” Protesting evil is easy. Just roll down the window and shout. If you are ready to dive into the deep, swift flowing currents of the force, realize that there is no dark side and there are no exits, including death, except the ocean of being. “I am one with the force, and the force is with me.”

Now transport yourself to ancient Egypt and Pharaoh holding the Hebrew people in slavery as depicted in Exodus. This is the story of an ancient Jedi who is one with the force, as we see in his attitudes and behaviors. It seems not to bother Moses that it is the Lord who is hardening Pharaoh’s heart every time Moses pleads with him to relent. He never questions the Lord about the devastation of the plagues, and he effortlessly absorbs the people’s doubts when they become fearful of the whole idea of leaving Egypt. He has his moments of uncertainty, but they do not last long. The Lord shares things with Moses only as needed, such as parting the Red Sea at the last moment when Pharaoh’s army is rushing toward them and the people are beginning to panic. Clearly, Moses has become one with the force. He doesn’t have to understand the whys and wherefores. Once he saw the burning bush, he was all in. 

Not the same, you say. But hold on. Both the millennia old story of Moses and the decades old story of Luke Skywalker are waves of thought passing hand in hand as equals through the mind right now. If you get this point, then the mental barricades will begin to crumble. Think of formal religion as being like the three prequel movies, important people sitting around talking about important things, large numbers of deciders of what should and shouldn’t be, arguments over group membership requirements, wars and violence, etc. Now think Luke alone with Yoda on a dark and swampy planet; then think Moses alone on Sinai with the Lord. Once you unwrap the vast mental landscapes filled with epic stories, images, sounds, shapes, smells, textures, and grand personages, you realize that all of it is just the soul-grabbing geology of thought; and that whether generated by theology or fantasy, there is the unseen mystery of spirit playing itself out every moment and in everything, including your thoughts about Luke and Moses. Here is the decisive moment: Luke and Yoda, Moses and the Lord; they are showing it to you right now, standing on the rocky shores of your mind, dripping wet with the infinite mystery out of which they and everything else are arising. 

I cannot show you the thing itself or even convince you that all of this is real, but I can ask this, “Are you available to participate in the grand drama of existence, or would you rather just buy a ticket to a Star Wars movie, munch popcorn, and pretend that what you see on the screen is not about you?” In eternity with no place to park, it’s all good; yet here and now, there is that nagging question of what is going on in the bottomless caverns of you.

Enlightenment or What Does God Get Out of All This?

Ep 19 The Urgent Pursuit of Pure Knowledge

How much living does it take before one can conclude that life, my life specifically, is going nowhere? I mean, there’s no intellectual formulation that has brought me to my knees and had me declare with finality, “I have found it!” Nor surges of emotion, nor sensory experiences, nor memories, nor food, nor sexual partner, spouse, poem, nor scaled peak, nor anything else that might bring me to declare victory, after which I might tidy up and exit for other parts, dowsing the light on the way out the door.

Except maybe this urgent compulsion to keep digging, or to conclude from what saints, sages, and seers have said over the ages that something grand and conclusive is available for the having if only I can surrender my individual existence into the ocean of being. Plop, cease to exist, something. Endless cogitation may stave this one off, or it’s true and so be it.

Unless I conclude that none of it is about the me and keep digging because something urgent demands it. Never mind some future enlightened state, the something that is going on is going on now in these terms, just as I write this. Can’t you feel it in your bones?

The absolute spirit, the divine source and center, the Self, whatever you want to call this thing, it exists. Fact. Non-existence is eternally overcome in the irreducible “I.” How is non-existence eternally overcome, you might ask? If you really want to know, grab your cosmic staff and head out. You will find steadfast beings traversing that line of inquiry, possibly forever. Once you arrive at the irreducible “I,” there are all the things and dimensions of the cosmos to see and gesture into with intent, and we all are trying to manage that intent in whatever form it manifests as very particular particularizations, and not insignificantly, ones that know and think and can walk across a living landscape. On my bookshelf, I have mighty volumes of knowledge, wisdom, secret sounds, images, practices, and ceremonies, that will do nothing to affect that intent as it is working right now in me.

So, what does God want? Dammit! It is a fair question! As it works its way into this dense planetary creation, into the animate and inanimate things, into the conscious beings, and the human beings ready to kill and destroy because they don’t have a clue as to why there are a thousand million laws in the world pushing us this way and that if we are not desperate about this dilemma of not knowing and ready to lash out to avoid the emptiness just on the other side of the question! Have I caught you unzipped in front of the mirror?

But it knows. It’s looking around. Creatures little more than blind animals on the evolutionary verge stretch out their consciousness with inquiry that just might work for that intent looking around for folks like you and me.

Knowing spirit knows only existentially, but human experiencers implanted with godseeds generate experiences useful to the mysterious intent arising out of the unbounded reality just over the precipice of our personal existences; and perhaps if we put enlightenment back on the shelf as an ego intrusion, we might look at what is going on right now as some of those godseeds vibrate out our experiences as a human version of god-knowing, providing useful data to the infinite God on its journey into its creation. For us just to know and enjoy the show!

Plant the seed, see what it is, next. This is how things are in the quantum cosmos.

Wrestlng with the Tao

The history of the world could be rewritten as the story of wars, not against each other, but against the Tao. “I am better than you are!” “This is mine, not yours!” “It has to work this way!” How muscular we have become in a million years of titanic struggle in the dark trying to fathom what’s going on. And the Tao? Who knows anything about the Tao except religious seekers, or lovers of ancient poetry, even assuming good translations? 

We struggle against the way things are not realizing that things are the way they are because we have created them that way. How many among us are awake enough to stand forth in the face of pain and say, “I did it.”? One contemporary teacher whom I greatly admire says, “If you struggle against what is, you will lose 100% of the time.” Such is the lesson of the Tao. In the grandiose words of my podcast, it goes like this: “Let go and enjoy the grand drama of existence!” 

Even the most spiritually experienced of us are astonishing in our ability to avoid or manipulate what arrives on our plate to act upon. I can be very skilled in the art of self-deception, as witnessed in the subtle pride that arises in words that I write or speak. Humility is a virtue yet to be valued across the land, but heart to heart, considering the mass stupidities at work in the world, I hope its presence is expanding, specifically in me. 

A few days ago in my kitchen, I felt the piece of my soul that was energizing the podcast leave my body and set out for home. I stood there in panic because I realized in an instant that this piece of above had made possible all the spoken and written words I had put out there in my name. How mightily I struggled to resist this moment as my life came crashing down. What hypocrisy! I was ready to die. 

Such is life in occlusion from the Tao. 

I recognized this feeling because a few years ago, I had died on our living room couch after succumbing to yet another occasion of substance abuse. An angelic being was carrying my soul toward a ring-pass-not, from beyond which, I knew, no traveler returns. The clarity of God’s displeasure was absolute. I fought off my angelic accompaniment and declared that this was my life and I wanted to live it! As it was! 

Unknown to me, as those events were transpiring behind the veils of my travail, my beloved Rachel was pounding on my chest to bring me back to life. Between our mutual efforts, I awoke, but my soul had not yet reentered my body. For the next hour, I had to exclaim every few minutes that I wanted to live. Eventually, after promising God with absolute sincerity never to use that substance again, my soul reentered my body, and I was able finally to let go into sleep instead of death. Cured by grace!

So, I know what the coming and going of souls and soul parts feels like. That day a few days ago in the kitchen, I was ready for my entire soul package to depart, believing I had committed some egregious malfeasance in what I was doing. I had struggled against the Tao, which includes the coming and going of soul parts. I had lost my faith. 

Today, after the help of beloved friends and a looking up from the tiny drama of my existence, things have fallen into place, and although I feel I have only inched along in my humble relationship with the Tao, I understand now that the transition in my podcasting work, which I knew was on the horizon, was destined to arrive with this profound wrenching of my spirit. For me, this work is, after all, not “about” that of which it speaks. It is that.

“Episode 18 Conversation with God” was recorded amid this trauma in the Tao, and even though it will have value to the brave and hardy, I have removed it from my websites. It still exists in the iTunes and Google Play stores, which are venues over which I have minimal influence. 

“Episode 19 The Urgent Pursuit of Pure Knowledge” will appear under new internal management by the end of the week with program notes still accompanied by a lingering scent of spiritual pride. For that I ask forgiveness.

Looking Up and Never Looking Back

There is that first grand moment when you look up for the first time and notice what you have never seen before, and you have no words of understanding because, despite the page turning and exploring you have done in your search of the divine, nothing has prepared you for this. Astonishment prevails but not for long because beyond the words and the turning of the mind/spirit to grasp the ungraspable, you move on. Blinded by darkness yields to blinded in the light, for without the handholds of thinking and concepts and the friendships and love and the sweeping view of the universe and even the spaces of apperception of reality between your thoughts, you find your way to the deepest inquiry of which you are capable, and you let it define itself because your knowing is so far beyond the thinking mind that the inquiry, emboldened by something so unknown in its nature that you can only surrender the last veils of your personal and spiritual selves and glare into that infinite core of what is about to proceed and let go!

I Want to Live the Grand Drama of Existence!

Listen to Episode 17 I Want to Live the Grand Drama of Existence!

You never get over the astonishment of realizing that you are the eternal, absolute spirit walking in the world to live the life of an awake, knowing being. Yes, the creator of this cosmos, the original one, the God of gods, the pure knower, the infinite one is you, when all the mental coverings are pushed aside! That's who you are and that's what's going on! Listen to the intro carefully! Asleep in our life stories, the grand drama goes on but outside of our awareness. Once you start to wake up, you feel the waves of being move through you imbued with a huge desire to be one with it all. Let the mystery begin! Let the mystery take hold!

The Never to Return Deep Meditation

Ep 16 The Never to Return Deep Meditation

Once you have decided, once you know this is it, what is it you expect to see when you take one last look over your shoulder? You have discovered at last that the world you have lived in is one whole thing, like a box, one total reality which you are finally ready to step out of. You are no longer embedded in its stories. You have faith that in the beyond, there will be pathways, august beings, perhaps the one grand being that lords over all. You don't know. Transcendental realities have been your life goal, your purpose, and now there is no turning back. Decades of pretending, of waiting for the right moment, of assessing how much more you need to do, whether this is the direction your life has taken. Has it really come to this? And what about love? A deep diver letting go of the line and stretching out to the unmoving waters. 

The Last Meditation

Don’t you want to know why it didn’t happen, sitting in your car at a four-way stop, your turn? You drive to the town square. It’s empty at 5 pm. You stand there looking at the benches and the gazebo, remembering when the square was full of noise and bands and kids chasing each other. You know those benches. They’re like the one in your mind, where you have been sitting for ten, twenty, thirty, forty, or fifty years, poised for the next meditative dive into the promise that has kept your heart pumping, beat after beat, living off the knowledge, the deep stirrings, the friendships with those who also know what you know and the how but who are still there with the same unfulfilled eyes. You look around. You don’t see them but you know they are all there on those benches. Saving room for the young ones, especially those who are being writhed into existence as you think.

Don’t you want to know why it didn’t happen? Feeling that stirring in your loins again, kids laughing in front of the store across the way? Still there. Was it that? Should I have headed to the forest or to the ashram to stave off the dark desire? All around you and the empty square, hundreds are doing the deed in locked rooms as your mind torques on the question. Yes, impossible without tying yourself to the mast as your ship is being tossed about in the raging sea. And even then, the mast always breaks.

Never mind. You close your eyes. Habit as much as anything. After ten thousand dives, it’s never been easier. Maybe after this one, you will push everything behind you and go backslapping with Zen monks in exotic marketplaces, or head into the mountains to exclaim the glory of your enlightenment to the gods, dance with Shiva among the stars, take target practice with Arjuna in the deep forest as the brothers look on with glee. Maybe.

Your mind goes quiet, and the silence rolls in, peaks of emptiness, troughs of illusions, gods, witches and goblins, the lineages of masters, rutting teens on their way to sameness and death, and the waves of love, your love, pulsing through your heart as you lie helpless on the shores of the unknown with the ancient buddhas. Why don’t they speak? Why? Why? I want to know! Return to the bench? Never! I would rather die than return to the bench! Lie here forever! Aching forever!

Or just step off . . .

When Hope Is In Full Bloom

In the very early hours of this morning, I received an invitation from my old time Transcendental Meditation friend Art Cohen to become a member of the Facebook group entitled The Roots of TM. To my delight, but not surprise, I found that I was already a member.
That might seem like a cursory interaction, but it wasn’t. Embedded in this impulse to communicate was an impulse directed to me to sit in TM for another dive into the root of my being. Maharishi always said, “Water the root and enjoy the fruit.” And so it is.
At 5:30 in the morning, I felt a bit groggy and the meditation shawl with which I had wrapped myself for tens of thousands of hours of TM was in tatters and unavailable for this voyage; nevertheless, wrapped in a new blanket, I leaped off into the divine waters and was soon spread out in the many dimensions of transcendental consciousness, which contained “work” I had done as a spirit acutely awake to the grand drama of my existence in this world.
Meditation, of course, is only the initial stage of exploring the root system of transcendent realities, which I have come to call the quantum cosmos. This is not TM language, but no matter; stepping off into the unknown leaves all language behind and requires a fundamental shift in one’s understanding and experience of reality. Maharishi sought to prepare us for that shift by describing higher states of consciousness in great detail, but once the experiences start to take hold, no definitions or flow charts can show the way.

One of the bounties of TM, besides the technique, is the connection with the holy tradition of masters of the Himalayas, who are the conduit of divine intelligence descending into the lower planes for you and me to access. These masters, who are lovingly invoked in the initiation ceremony, fill the meditator with the ancient wisdom that meditation has brought to devotees of the divine for millennia. It is up to the meditator how much he or she wishes to integrate this flow into daily life. What a great spiritual challenge this is!

These masters who access us in our daily lives are just the leading edge of a vast array of ancient beings who are there to awaken aspirants to the “root system” of reality embedded in the infinite silence. When one steps away from the familiar self into the unknown, one is accompanied only by faith in one’s master and love for the hidden lord who is behind all that is. The only way I can describe what this stepping away feels like is to bring up a movie I saw, Ender’s Game, in which the main character, Ender Wiggen, steps out of a one-g gravity situation on a space station into a zero-g environment. He has no handholds and the ways of navigation are entirely different from what he is used to. Nevertheless, he learns. And he is good at it!

There are many lineages of masters who have learned to navigate outside political and religious indoctrinations and constricted beliefs about reality (a zero-g environment) and brought solutions to painful living to those who open channels of light to them. My friend Art has two connections to the divine, one through the great sages and rabbis of the Jewish tradition, and another through the holy tradition of masters of the Himalayas. The great masters who work with me chose Art to communicate to me their intent for this meditation this morning. Why? TM, I expect. Anyway, it matters not because the truth behind all this is that “I love you, Art! And thank you for the waters that flow through you to me. Shalom and Jai Guru Dev!”

Ringing the Bell of God

flesh and blood and thoughts and beyond thoughts the invisible room

Ep 15 Enlightenment and the Gaze from the One Beyond

Who has gathered enough information from spiritual practice, studies, scriptural proclamations, and anything else that might prompt one to say, “I know God”? You can’t gather enough information of any kind that allows you to proclaim knowledge of God. Knowing God is the most intimate experience one can have and you can’t discuss it over the table, or write a book about it, or go on TV, or for that matter, run a podcast about it.
The Invisible Room Podcast has wonderful information in it, but it is beautifully free of indoctrinated statements, scriptural witnessing, or anything else to imply that the value of listening to the audio or reading these occasional remarks provides information that is worth communicating for its own sake. Except the fact of the invisible room. Beyond that fact, the rest is singing out notes of consciousness in order to set up resonance inside the consciousness of the listener. The note “A” is the note “A” no matter what instrument carries that note.  If note “A” feels god-ish in me, then it might feel god-ish in anybody.
Spiritual development involves changing one’s vibration so that one knows the information of “A” and other notes and chords that comprise the song of reality. All one must do here is to listen or read and feel the vibration; the information is secondary, furniture brought into the invisible room that one might come to know that the invisible room exists.

I am not famous. I have not published books. I am not lined up for tours or talk shows, or anything along those lines. I do not give workshops or courses. I do not have a Ph.D. in any subject remotely related to spiritual awakening. All of those activities are for promoting and preserving the words. What I do is sing reality words, and podcasting is my instrument of choice. It’s perfect for singing operatic stories about reality and travel through different dimensions of reality singing those songs. I sing that your consciousness might become unstuck from the cacophony of collective sounds that have become a fixed reality for seven billion people. Just let it vibrate inside you, never mind the words. Your divine source and center will do the rest.

I sing “God” songs for anybody who wants to close their eyes, lean the head back, and hum along. Are these vibrations “God”? Will God come to hear you sing? Who knows? And why not God come? I would keep that door wide open! Take a leap! Come into the mystery! Let it free your consciousness so that it can hum god tunes rather than the dark groans and growls that are the speech of collective human consciousness. It takes courage for sure to hum along, but the adventure of it is beyond compare! Enlightenment! Grace! Redemption! The whole nine yards!

Click here for “Ep 15 Enlightenment and the Gaze of the One Beyond.” It is about the unquenchable desire and what ultimately happens to it.

If you want to ring your god bell right now, click here for a three minute ride.

Enlightenment and the Coming of The Divine

Listen to Ep 14 The Grand Gathering of Quantum Travelers

It’s all happening in a rush! Veils are falling and we are reeling in the winds of change as new realizations sweep through our minds, leaving unanswered questions exposed to the light of our knowing, bringing to the fore the most basic questions that will transform our lives when addressed with clarity and courage. 

The question of enlightenment defines the lives of many people who have explored the depths of their being through prayer, meditation, ritual, worship, and holding sacred the unquenched longing that grips the core of our hearts. Here you and I struggle together. It’s time to pull this issue out of the depths. Let us push aside the expectations and disappointments. The cry “I want to live!” has transformed into the cry “I want to be enlightened!” Take it on! Feel it now! Deep in our hearts, the unquenchable longing is waiting for the touch that puts everything right and clear and opens our depths to the divine gaze, to the being who knows all, who is the answer where there are no questions and whose intent for you becomes obvious, when you bow down in surrender to what has always been. 

The reason I say so now is that we are approaching the place in The Invisible Room Podcast where the light and information and the vibrational lift is coming directly from the Galactic Mind making deep incursions into the lives of those who are ready to pull off the veils, to perceive with clarity the nature of enlightenment and receive preparation for the ultimate journey into the great beyond as enlightened, knowing beings joined to the grand community of enlightened beings working consciously and deliberately to prepare for the culmination of earthplanet’s spiritual awakening, to move unequivocally into the divine flow that is creating the Quantum Light Body Vehicle, represented by the flower image that accompanies this writing and the 14th broadcast of this program, and leaving behind all the past lives, including the one being lived now, and dying into the absolute spirit that is the invisible room or whatever designation inside you which raises your vibration the highest. Be the lover, then let love die. 

Deep inside we are holding on to something that is outside any of the life experiences we have clung to and died for over many lifetimes. Through mighty labors in the heart, we have learned how to release ourselves from so many things, but not this one. This desperate clutching is happening deeper than anything we have known in the world. It is the awakening spirit’s trepidation for surrendering into the infinite. For us it is death, a step we cannot deliberately take because it defies our most basic human grounding—life! Being clutches being as something other in the infinite darkness and cannot let go of this experience of itself without the direct intervention of the divine other, the grand lord of this plane of quantum cosmos, the awakened Galactic Mind, through which comes the recognition that you dwell safely in bosom of this divine being. There is no other place to go but to surrender to this action coming to you. You have not longed for this in vain.  

Enlightenment is not a myth, but it is more than awakening, which is an extension of consciousness into the created realms and carries its own grandeur to be lived out in many existences over the lifetime of this cosmos. Enlightenment is existence in the way of God. It is the extinction of the unquenchable desire in favor of riding waves of the grand mystery of all that is, of fearlessly grasping and accepting the original condition, the unborn substance quivering in its unresolvable self-knowing. Enlightened beings take on what absolutely is, as does the godbeing of this plane of the quantum cosmos, the Galactic Mind.

For anyone who has felt these words moving into their divine depths, it is time for inner resolution. Nothing other than that can be done.  No judgments can be made about who you are or how you stand. Your coming and going is part of the mystery only the divine one knows. Just feel the deep waves moving and know. 

Listen to Ep 14 The Grand Gathering of Quantum Light Travelers

Ticket to Ride

I get it! If I had a chance to go into orbit, I’d go in a flash. What a breathtaking adventure to see the earth as a ball in space in the infinite blackness. I get it! And the people who want to go to Mars, even on a one-way trip and pay billions of dollars for a ticket! Who doesn’t get just an inkling of what that means to a human being, even if much of this posturing comes from longings left over from childhood? Deep inside, something indeed stirs us to push our boundaries over the horizon and swell to proportions of being that . . . well, that what? Until the death boundary shows up and doesn’t get pushed around by any sort of fascination with the world as we see it.
Those who have been reading my blogs and listening to my broadcasts have noticed by now that my vision doesn’t allow human existence to be confined by the vulnerability of the mortal form to inevitable extinction. Life beyond is what I point to. Mortality is an issue only to those are so glued into the world that spirit exists merely as a topic of discussion or at best as a principle of belief.
For me spirit is a vehicle for travel into the great beyond that has no place on a map of the world, or the solar system, or the galaxy. Once you know, you climb aboard, or, if you really want to travel, you surrender completely into the conditions of spirit, your invisible room, and boot up the cosmic intelligence command and control center for alignment with other cosmically awake beings, quickly getting the lay of the land of the quantum cosmos and loading up the knowledge that defines this dimension of the cosmic string and finding your place. Just for starters.
Is this stuff new to you? If so, that’s okay. Take what follows as a primer, or even, perhaps, an invitation to join and wake up to the grand drama of all that is. Grab a board! Ride the waves! Why not?
Just outside the veils of the human story lie planes of existence that that are rich with life and evolutionary potency. The entire cosmos, the 3-D material version and the quantum cosmos version, is governed and moved by influences that, once experienced, generate a permanent state of astonishment within the human condition so much that it bursts through the illusions of plain old planet earth, beautiful as it is and filled with undiscovered facts and processes, which over the years has become a tedious, day in and day out experience such that the rising of the sun means just one more day of unconscious habits generating thoughts and behaviors, even if they are grand and compassionate, that always come back to the next day with no resolution to the undercurrents of dissatisfaction that ultimately brings us to death, which is the one truth that reminds us that we are real beings, but which within the density of human illusion becomes a big enemy that needs to be conquered or at least avoided as long as possible. What childishness! 

Envision, if you will, a grand arena of awakened beings moving in and out of a perfectly formed, translucent flower of unimaginable splendor and grandeur, each being with its core invisible room gracefully contained by a quantum light body, bursting with the desire to explore the great beyond, fueled by the ecstatic self-knowing generated by the living love flame, and the boundless knowing that comes from the eternal meditations of the ancient buddhas on the shores of the unknown. Just imagine!

And that the coming and goings of these quantum light beings, real beings doing real things, are guided by a grand being in the vast beyond, which each of the quantum beings knows intimately because each knows that it exists and moves within the divine will of that which attends that knowing. Just imagine! Stop and imagine! 

And imagine still that when the work of these quantum light beings with the “perfectly formed, translucent flower of unimaginable splendor and grandeur” has reached its fullness, with each quantum being fitted perfectly into the grand arena with all the other layers and layers of quantum light beings, freshly liberated from endless rounds of human incarnations, a cosmic event will occur and there will be the leaning in of the grand cosmic being in which we all have lived and died, and it will gaze upon what has been accomplished and if satisfied will reach in and take it up into its magnificent existence and prepare it for the final offering by which it will be lifted into a beyond, the anticipation of which brings to it the kind of trepidation we can never imagine, but which will also bring into those riding with this being into the beyond as the essence of its exposure to this plane of the cosmic string the fullest satisfaction of their many, many lives as mortal human beings 

And you want to go to Mars?!

Your Ticket to Ride, if you wish to visit this flower, is a dramatic shift up in vibration: Click here, don headphones, and surrender to the mad ride. This a real event.

A Case for Not-Oblivion on the Other Side of Life

You can make a case for oblivion as an afterlife option. Easy. Oblivion is nothing. Waking up from sleep, you know what that is. Coming out of anesthesia from surgery, you know even more what that is. Oblivion is nothing: no life, no death, no suffering, no joy, no world, no longing for something you don’t understand and have little chance in discovering. Why not? Maybe that’s what awaits us anyway. 

The Buddhists talk about nirvana, and what is that but another kind of oblivion, a good Buddhist oblivion to be sure, a good escape from samsara, the world of moving things, mostly heavy matter things that bring pain if not managed properly, or even the heavy mental things like anger and hate. 

And how much do we believe in the various heavens spread out in the world’s religious self-justifications, and will it make pain and suffering and poverty and disease and murder and mayhem all worth it? Considering what most people around the world have experienced in the past and continue to experience and how much of that experience could count as suffering, yes, you can make a good case for oblivion as the reward for living on planet earth.  

But that’s not the case I want to make. Right now I am ecstatically happy about my life, despite frustrating days or even angry days that show up now and then, and despite the dark experiences in my past that still reverberate in the deep folds of my hidden psyche, and the near brush with insanity that has left some tattered spots in my will to be; yes, despite all of that, which was much worse than these words can make it sound, I make the case for life to continue beyond the falling away of mortal forms, and mental forms, and whatever other layers of human existence that might remain after the decay of physical matter sets in because in the total experience of my life, I have made the deep plunge into the core of my being, past the cries of human pain, deep into the unknown where things are not easily defined, past the chains of time and space and all other limitations, past the hole of night, deep into the void, and found and embraced the original thing in its original condition crying out the primordial cry: “I exist!” I embrace that cry in the deep of the deep right now and I respond with the penultimate cry from a mortal being who has surged alive on this planet: “I want to live!” And after billions of years of infinite becoming, that primordial cry showing up on this planet, in this person, destined soon to sleep the big sleep, this is what has broken through from the deep cry, three minutes and nine seconds that are my case against oblivion:


Bursting Through the Ceiling

Ep 13 Platform 9 3/4: All Aboard for the Self-Existing Glory


For a full preparation for listening to this episode of The Invisible Room Podcast, read yesterday’s post. Scroll down a bit and you will see it. Or click here if you listen through iTunes, Google Play, or Soundcloud. With the upward surge in vibration in the world, we need to pull away more of the veils around the message being delivered here. In this episode, the truth that is out there is now here. The image above is for those who wish to receive a direct transmission visually. There is magic in the air. We are all wizards looking around for our lost wands! If you intend to listen to this episode, remember to ask your higher self for your wand. It will understand. Enjoy the ride!

High Vibrational Lenses

The Invisible Room Podcast is undergoing a dramatic shift upward in vibration. This new vibration arrives with “Ep 13 Platform 9 3/4: All Aboard for the Self-Existing Glory!” Both the new intro and the content reflect an advanced vision and greater possibilities for insight into how this podcast is flowering. In any episode, there is the availability of concepts that make the episode comprehensible on the mental level. One can also “feel” the truth of an experience one might have while listening. Certainly, that feeling value and the understanding value have been my goals to this point. 

Starting with this new episode, which I will post Friday morning, those circumstances will become secondary to experiencing a vibrational shift while listening that will enable one to “see” the reality being referenced by the words. In other words, the experience of each episode is available at the higher vibrations. Absent that higher vibration, the sounds become just a blur of words. That’s why I sought out from Michael Garfield new music for the intro to upcoming episodes so that the material being addressed in each episode is more likely to swim into view. Since the creation of the new intro, I have found it difficult to listen to earlier episodes, which carry a beautiful but denser vibration. An hour ago, I tried to listen to “Ep 13” to prepare for writing these words, but my vibration was too low for me to catch hold of it. Ten minutes passed and I hadn’t heard a word.

In the last few minutes, Rachel and I enjoyed a splendid conversation about our experiences of the deep waters of spirit, and the profound mysteries that we engage when those deep waters touch the conscious mind, and, lo, here I am with the necessary vibration that I can write these words. Concurrent with that conversation was a discussion of Rachel possibly receiving cataract surgery to bring splendor back to her vision. See the connection? Not the first time that a conversation with Rachel has pointed the way.

If you feel committed to “hearing” what is in “Ep 13,” I recommend a once through to support the vibrational shift and then another time through to “hear” what is there. In this case, hearing is knowing. Another way to lift your vibration for these upcoming episodes is to listen to “The New High Vibrational Intro” until you can hear all the words without “going away.” (Probably impossible to do.) Find the link in the left menu on the podcast page and here. The higher vibration will also help you receive transmission from the images that come with each episode.  If you wish to play with this idea of vibrational surge, listen to the intro on the home page, which I dearly love and still believe in; then listen to “The New High Vibrational Intro.” The world is, indeed, different at a higher vibrational perception. 

When consciousness stabilizes at a higher vibration, we walk in the light of reality. What is happening behind the scenes becomes thoroughly obvious because the curtains covering those realities are no longer there. The presence of other beings moving through the world giving aid to awakening travelers becomes unquestioned. The reality of a gathering point for spirits preparing for ascension into higher planes of the quantum cosmos becomes obvious. No convincing necessary. For many who listen to this episode, the reference to that place will turn into a memory of what is already known at the higher vibration. Those who are awakening in their human existence and who remember why they are here walk with a purpose imbedded in the reality field, rather than with purposes generated out of old karmic seeds being replanted for future generations to grind out.

For those awakening to their presence in the quantum cosmos gathering field, their destiny is awaiting them on Platform 9 ¾. For more information, lift your vibration and play “Ep 13 Platform 9 ¾: All Aboardfor the Self-Existing Glory!” Live in its love! Burn in its beauty!

Ep 12 Reality: A Traveler's Guide to the Quantum Cosmos

Ep 12 Reality: A Traveler's Guide to the Quantum Cosmos

When the cacophony of the world becomes too much, we shut the door and take refuge in the treasures of the mind. We open our imaginations and inquire into the possibilities of making a great life, of returning to the cacophony armed with grand strategies for making our way in the world. When these plans inevitably fail, when sadness and despair refuse to yield, and when love loses the power of transcendence, we challenge the validity of the mind to take on the world and provide clear passage into understanding and fulfillment. Eventually, longings deep in the heart turn us inward for a meditative journey out of the illusions of our life stories. When we sit in meditation, we discover the silence of consciousness, alive to itself, unsullied by the cacophony of the world and the grand deceptions that imprison all those who are too afraid to challenge its assumptions and inquire deeply into the world story they have so blindly engaged over a lifetime.

Then a miracle happens, deep within the silence on the other side of consciousness, something stirs out of the unknown and claims our attention. We feel it, we recognize it, we know what it is. The subtlest threads of silence, upon examination, reveal themselves to be an infinitely vast cosmos of multi-dimensional passageways through which real beings, beings who wear the mantle of the self-existing glory, whose hearts are the living love flame, and whose will to be emerges out of the ancient buddhas on the shores of the unknown, travel in rapturous recognition that they exist. This is the quantum cosmos beckoning us back home to the all that is.

Those souls who have awakened and found themselves lost, cold, and alone in the wilderness of earthplanet plane, can now find their way back to the ancient land, where grand quantum beings of the many planes of existence travel on their way home to the farther shore. These beings are the real beings; their story is the one real story. Travelers of the quantum cosmos are in search of the grandest of grandest conditions of existence, riding waves of the unknown higher and higher into the deepest uncertainty any knowing being can face. Listen to these words. Hear the call. Look up and know the truth. Turn around and begin your journey, the one real journey, the journey that never ends.

The Miracle of Music in the Great Beyond

Michael Garfield

When we make ourselves available to the divine majesty moving through everything, miracles happen. The latest miracle to happen to me was Michael Garfield’s album Martian Arts. I have used his music for all episodes of The Invisible Room Podcast, letting the music expand the inner spaces of those entering the invisible room energy and for me creating the words of each episode. 

A few days ago, the vibration in the world suddenly went up. I knew something had happened but did not realize from how deep these new waves of the divine mystery were rising until one afternoon on my deck when my vibration burst into the great beyond listening to this album. I didn’t want to come back. I felt myself riding waves of the infinite, supported by the unbounded ocean of being. The rhythms, the ongoingness, departing, returning, expanding, contracting, and the many sudden very strange moments—all of this gave way to the mystery itself, and after listening 3-4 times in sequence, I knew I needed to bring my podcast into the space this music opened up inside me. Spirit moves in waves. Mystery moves in waves. I am an experienced traveler outside the world of mind and sense. This music brings me home. 

I am grateful to Michael for allowing me to use "Olympus Mons," a track from this album, to help me lift The Invisible Room Podcast into a more expanded space. These things are not planned. One is fortunate to be in favorable alignment with one’s outer world when the waves of mystery pass through. When one reads the comments which Michael added to the publication of this album, it is easy see that the deep mystery came for him that night. One of the grand expressions of that encounter is this music. Read his comments by clicking the first link below. Consider becoming a supporter.